ASHLAND in 6hours 18minutes.

so the grade8 retreat went by pretty fast today! all in all, i think we did a good job:).
however the first thing that happened...disturbed me.

blonde kid (im not posting his name up to save me from embarrassement; im not a cougar, im just stating that 10 years later he wouldn't look as bad): looks at me while im walking around the front area of the retreat room, turns to my brother while they're sitting down, and says, "gorgeous..."
brother: in dismay with an (are you nuts*) look on his face
Me: i saw it happen. my reaction (*wtf.) turn around and distract myself while trying to process the information in my head
a grade 8 just hit on me WTF.
im sure you're all like, "secretly she likes it" but secretly "I DONT!"
............that's soo weird.
excuse me............................im still disturbed.

soo i came home today and asked my brother just to make sure what happened.
me: so what exactly did you he say to you when you sat down?
brother': uhhh...i don't really think you wanna know (*conversation getting awkward).........EWWWWWWWW.
then he told me.. with a crazed look on his face
END OF STORY.
CREEPED ME OUUTT.
OKAY ILL SHUTUP NOW:$

im in love with our new chamber song. it makes me want to cry.
after the SPM retreat, i felt so good and this music just came out at the right time. Its like a release, from misery and you theres a lot of emotion. I dont know why, but this is a song, that i wanna experience "that moment" with....

im leaving for my spm retreat tomorrow:)

i wanna come out of it with a better attitude, and some confidence to do the things i need to do.

here's to hoping that i'll come out of it feeling the same way last year; i felt amazing...apparently that's what a spiritual high feels like

& its times like these, that im glad i have oppurtunities like this:)

pls pray for me.

going to gallagher lake tomorrow. & i have to pack my bags!
i really want school to start, and i have no idea why!

so yesterday, went to the gym, saw jess! time passes by so much more quickly when you have someone to talk to:)
then later my mom said we could go see a movie- julie & julia. movie was okay, laughed a little bit, but (i dont know why im comparing this to it) not as good as the proposal!
so of course we were hungry before the movie started......it was stealth, haaha . she wanted a mcflurry so we went to mcdonalds got mcflurries, and snuck them in her purse and ate them! mmm .. they were soo good.

i haven't updated in a while. so here it goes...

i did the GROUSE GRIND. omg it was soo hard, but i survived. i mean i literally climbed up a mountain. and i was huffing and puffing the whole way and i stopped like a million times:/

just came back from savary island. i was practically out of civilization for about a week!

saw my friends a couple of days ago. so much fun, laughing my head off, i missed you guys!

maybe going to gallagher in about a week.......

working out at the gym. and i finally have another partner to work out with cause jessie finally joined!

im convinced so far this summer i lost about 7pounds, and im going to keep it that way!

i drove on the road today :-0!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAINEY!

 YOURE ONE OF MY BESTEST FRIENDS AND I HOPE YOU HAVE AN AWESOME BIRTHDAY! 

PS. I STILL HAVE TO MAKE THAT COVER:)

pps. the stairmaster is going to be the death of me:( and my arms are still killing me.

today i went to the gym and worked my asss off. hurray for eliptical and stairclimbing machine! and i did tons of weight and now my arms feel like dumbells; they feel really heavy and sore:(

i worked my ass of soo......I TREATED MYSELF TO A SCREAMER FROM DANNY'S:)!

so apparently, IM FAT

TODAY I WENT TO THE GYM. last time i went was in october/november & i cant believe ive waited this long:/

so heres to waking up early, (mind you, during summer) to work out. 

today, my mom told me i was FAT. <------there's my motivation. my whole family. holy crap. 

i feel bad enough about myself already, you dont got to rub it in. after telling my i was fat, she proceeded to tell me that, "its sooo noticeable on me, and because im a shorter person. and if i keep going, ill end up miserable. she then proceeded to tell me to: LOSE 5 POUNDS IN 2 WEEKS." she basically gave me a timeline, and gave me the impression that if this didn't happen, i'd pretty much have something wrong with me.

MY GOAL is to lose 10 pounds. watch me. IM GONNA BE BUFF:)

FRIDAY: REPORT CARDS. my grades are practically the same except for bio. BUT really, who cares about bio, its freaking insane. 

AND. i made mr bohnen cry when i was saying bye to him. im going to miss him sooo much.:( AND THEN. i saw MS.B!! and her baby. omg she's sooooo cute. i miss her soo much

THEN. we had a chamber meeting and just hung out in the portable

AFTER THAT. me jess, anna, and chelsea, went to oakridge. we ate food looked around (ANNA AND I BOUGHT NAILPOLISH- IT WAS OUR SPLURGE FOR THE DAY!) and then bussed back to jess' house. she did our hair and makeup while we were listening to Michael Jackson:/ and then we watched Dirty Dancing (the grinding part in the movie's so scandalous) :0

 THEN.

st pauls elementary class of '05 reunion. it was awesome. i loved seeing people i hadnt seen for 4 years; i love my class! 

SATURDAY: my brothers grad dinner. ohmygosh. he's getting so old now. i cant believe that next year he'll be in st pats with me:/!

SUNDAY: staying at home. im watching PRISON BREAK.  (thanks to jess!) watch me get hooked on this during summer.

TOMORROW: ANNA'S TURNING 17:)

AND.chamber dinner! im excited. i love those people. i hope we do a good job next saturday:)

WHAT IS THIS?

MICHAEL JACKSON & FARRAH FAWCETT DIED:(.

i watched the proposal yesterday. HAHA it was freaking hilarious. of course, i didn't go alone- i watched it with anna and marie:)

tomorrow's report cards (& grad sweaters i hope!).

im excited. yay. you can actually post comments now.
I LOVE READING COMMENTS!

fyi; i have no idea how i changed the layout. i just copy and pasted crap and im suprised it actually worked.

YAYY! im free. finally, exams are over and i can relax a little.

bare with me. im working on my layout; i wanna change it up a little.

i can't believe its actually over. i hate this feeling; i kinda feel lost without it now. cause i love this type of stuff. it makes me happy:)
chan centre was pretty good. haha of course we made a mistake in the first song, but i dunno if anyone noticed!
chamber's set was freaking hilarious/embarrassing. i am not yours- the choreography was good, but, i couldn't tell when to stop looking at the freaking ceiling. so i just stood there. and then my mom told me jess, paolo, and araujo were laughing because the whole middle section of chamber still had their faces up. (apparently i looked like i was dying.) HAH. drunken sailor!? OMG embarrassing. at the end of the song, me and marielle were still on the risers. haha and we weren't supposed to be! we were supposed to be on the floor posing:/
......i feel so lost, now that everything's over. well not really, but in a sense it is pretty much over.

!

tomrrow's chan! this years passed by soo fast.
i remember last year. we just got back from cuba. the whole week was hectic; practices and orchestra rehearsals.
May 7th (i think) gr10. going to the chan. excited because i was finally part of the show in chamber and concert. arriving at the chan all pumped with jess. going through the wrong exit, trying to find araujo. me and jess hanging our stuff up on the clothing racks in the makeup room. scrambling around in the makeup room; jess, of course, doing everybody's makeup:) getting on stage and thinking, "this is it." the whole rush of being on stage with all these people staring at you. orchestra being right there in front of you. how proud i felt, after everything was over. how crappy i felt, when i realized that the next day was my theory exam.
i can't believe, its happening (all over again) tomorrow.

YAYY i got a new cell phone! finally.

YAYY i got a new cellphone!! finally.

i am soo determined. more than ever. i want this soo bad.
heck, i know lifes not fair, but there comes a point in time where its not all about one person. im really trying, but everytime i think im getting somewhere, you turn around and figure out another way to bring me down. i know its not intentional at all and not directed at me, but i always seem to be the one most affected. im doing everything i can, i even talked to you about it. i just want that one moment. its funny how i even walked up to you and had the guts to tell you how i was feeling; not many people do that. im not trying to be all about myself, but when i hear things like that, i know what its all about. am i supposed to sit around and wait for things to come to me, or am i supposed to ask you for them. i've done what i thought was better, and now im just sitting here waiting around. i feel.. i dunno. unappreciated. i really want a chance for myself. i dont want to be a bratty annoying little kid, but i love this. this is what im good at and i do it for the love of it, not because im about myself.
im really trying. i put myself out there, done something i never thought i would do. i failed. i guess thats a sign.
i went for it. i've confronted the problem head on, and im still waiting. i've already let the whole world know how i feel.
please help. im waiting for the right moment. i feel like im waiting forever and nothing's happening....i guess that what being patient is all about.

POST ESPECIALLY FOR SHAINE (and anyone who reads this i guess.)

this is dedicated to shaine. he told me that he goes onto blogspot everyday, to see if ive updated my blog, and i havent in a month:/ im sorry:(
well, lets just say that im glad that im at home and NOT at school. today was such a emo day; i don't know. i guess its just everything that im frustrated about, it all came out today. i freaking broke down 3 times; i even ran out of a class (like WTH? i never do that.) its been bothering me forever, and it keeps coming back. i feel like i deserve it and all, but its almost like i keep getting shot down. i know its not intentional or anything, but it hurts real bad everytime it happens. I've tried keeping it to myself, but everytime it happens, i just have to tell someone about it, and i've begun realized how bad i wanted it. everytime it happens, i feel beat up inside, i get all hot and my chest gets heavy. heck, i've even dreamed about it. i know it sounds crazy, but its been happening for a while and i've wanted it for so long. (2 years now.) i realized the first year, i wasn't going to get it. this year, i was hoping for more, and i guess i had my mind set on this one thing, and when i didn't get it, it all came crashing down. its hard to see the same things happening over and over again.
i dont know what to do. i don't want to sound like a diva, but i think i deserve it. ive worked really hard, done things that are totally out of my comfort zone. this is practically my life. and even though i worked hard to get there, i want to keep going, cause i know what's possible and what's out there for me. if its something that i feel good about, i'll go for it. i felt like i've put myself on the line so many times, i've stayed committed and done just about everything (i've even waited-i tried to stay patient.) i want this so bad, and today, i felt like i missed out on an oppurtunity:( i don't know what else to do, but be patient and wait (like i've done before.) i wish i could tell this one person whats wrong and how i feel. but i can't. i guess that person obviously noticed it today, but sometimes i wished they'd just be more inquisitive and asked. like seriously, its happened so many times before- it makes me frustrated. i feel like you don't trust me, or have confidence in me. sometimes i feel like i have to prove myself to you. all i can say is, that i've tried real hard.
one thing i noticed today, was that i have friends who really care for me. they were there for me today, and i love you guys soooo much; thanks for that (i really didn't want to sound bratty or anything, but thankyou for just being there and listening.) i also know, now, that i have something in common with somebody else and they feel the same way. we had a really good talk and got everything out. we were both crying and had the same things to say; we had a moment and we related to eachother:)
this day's been really tough and almost like a rollercoaster.
im starting to like this song. i know its miley cyrus, but i love the lyrics.

The Climb

i can almost see it
that dream im dreaming but
theres a voice inside me head saying,
you'll never reach it
every step im taking,
every move i make feels
lost with not direction
my faith i shaking but i,
got to keep trying
got to keep my head held high

there's always gonna be another mountain
im always gonna wanna make it move
always gonna be an uphill battle
sometimes im gonna have to lose
ain't about how fast i get there
ain't about what's waiting on the other side
its the climb

the struggles im facing
the chances im taking
sometimes might knock me down but
no, im not breaking
i may not know it
but these are the moments that
im going to remember most
just got to keep going
and i,
gotta be strong
just keeping pushing on, cause

there's always gonna be another mountain
im always gonna wanna make it move
always gonna be an uphill battle
sometimes im gonna have to lose
ain't about how fast i get there
ain't about what's waiting on the other side
its the climb

.........................................................................................................<3

WESTCOAST TOUR IN 3 DAYS!

MARCUS BROWN.

YAYY we did it! i survived the weekend; it was loads of fun.
we had an 'meet and greet' type social with the peeps from MINNESOTA! it was pretty fun- omg it was kinda like ACDA all over again!
TWO WORDS: MARCUS BROWN!
SIX WORDS: ANNA & I SAW HIM FIRST! i swear. haha
we saw him when he was up on the church balcony. lols. it was amazing.
i loved listening to the other choir - they were really amazing. plus i met two new people-sam and cassie:)!
the concert went really well and im really proud of both chamber and concert!

well, i haven't posted in a while. so.
i came back from my trip about a week ago and i had fun! its disneyland (the happiest place on earth) and going there felt like i fufilled a dream or something. i know-im weird like that.

im bracing myself- for THIS WEEKEND. its gonna be choir x a bajillion. and i cant lose my voice and i have to hit all my notes and crap. :s sometimes you feel like the whole weight of the world is on your shoulders. im sooo up and down with choir- i feel like i want to be appreciated. and no im am NOT trying to act like a freaking DIVA, but sometimes all i need is the "good job" or "keep it up" or something- it helps. *ahem *cough araujo. after choir practice shaine sat with me and he was "being sad" with me. he knows how i feel- LOVE YOU SHAINE:) (shhhh. don't show anna r. haha j/k)- if you're reading this.

im actually quite drained. and i kinda b*tched (excuse my language) at araujo because i was soooo drained. and he has to understand that i cant always hit my notes after being awake for like 12 hours, and singing at the same time. at least ms wilks understands. she totally had my back and she sang my note for me.- i think araujo was like wth? but whatever. i think he knew i was kinda mad with him !#$%$^!^ arrgh. i did well for chamber this morning anyways. my point is, that even when i hit the notes and do everything, i dont really feel complimented or encouraged. but when i do something by mistake, clearly, something is wrong and araujo shoots me a look.
...............................in other news. S RIBS, and my foods group, saved me a piece of that pasta that we made today! they're soo nice. they know i was really mad about not being in school today. i love them:)
...............this weekends gonna be soooo busy. OH EM GEE.

omg 12 straight hours of walking; feels like ive done a marathon:/ im tired.

so...im officially in L.A. and i feel weird.

i guess its cause im in the states and i have no idea where i am. i hope i don't feel like this for the rest of the trip. its actually kind of awkward.:/ 

i hope tomorrow will be better.

good luck chamber for tomorrow's performance!- break a leg:) i miss you guys alot!!

so today, im stuck at home babysitting. its ok, really, cause my brother and his friend are sooo quiet that i feel like im the only one in the house.

yesterday we had our pj party for choir!

suprisingly, it went by very fast:) 

i feel kinda weird. even though im going away for a week, i feel as if my heart's in two places. im actually gonna miss choir and i'll be thinking of you guys when you're performing and eating your hearts out at cactus club with araujo! i hope you guys have lots of fun and i know you can do it!

since i got my L, i haven't started driving. BUT TODAY I DID! yay! im so happy; its not that bad. you just have to get the hang of it and then its okay. haha my daddy took me out driving; he kinda suprised me. and while i was driving (in this army battlement centre's parking lot) i could totally see my brother and my dad's expressions from behind. holy crap! they were so uptight and they thought i was gonna suck like crazy. there was so much freaking tension in the car. THEY THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO KILL THEM OR SOMETHIN. well i DIDNT. and after i could tell that they were starting to relax and they seemed more at ease. they also seemed quite suprised by the fact that for my first time i actually wasn't that bad. it was actually quite funny; my brother was being a back seat driver and my dad was just hollering at me, telling me what to do next (as if i didn't know:/)

now i want to drive some more!

BRING IT ON:)!

im bored.........just waiting for days to pass. 

well, today wasn't sooo bad

i went shopping! but of course, ever since i got a job and got laid off, i've had a little bit of money. SO, my mom makes me buy everything i want myself. i hate it:( but whatever, i've been buying stuff for myself (not to mention, i've been stricking up good deals) 

last week: i bought three purses and a pair of gladiator sandals!

this week: i bought a cardigan, two pairs of khaki shorts, and sneakers!!

sometimes i guess im spoiled. its weird that way; there's always something i want and im never really satisfied; looks like a bad habit :-0. well, its not like i blow my money off all the time:/

ITS OFFICIALLY SPRING BREAK! DISNEYLAND IN 5 DAYS:)

im soooo excited. but it feels weird at the same time. i've never gone anywhere with my family like this (i've only been to sri lanka with them) this is prettttty big, for me at least.

even though its spring break, i still have choir practice on monday (but at least its gonna be pj day) haha. i remember last years. i can't believe a year has passed; everything goes by sooo fast. 

today we got course selections. its kinda weird. i know i want to get into arts in university/college but im not tooo sure what to take. the good thing is that i have options and everything somehow seems to fit *knock on wood. 

CHOIR: was soooo gay. ms wilks got mad. holy crap she was fuming at all the girls for last practice. and she made us fill out this form for why we did/didn't attend and what we did during that time. AND. she made us put our cellphones on the piano, regardless of whether they were in our bags or in our hands/pockets.

im kind of tired of ms wilks..........i want araujo to come back:/ (i think i need a mix of both to stay alive:)

im kinda waiting for this week to end faster. i kinda like school (i know im gay that way), but at the same time, i want another break. AKA SPRING BREAK!

so...i just finished watching an episode of  jon and kate plus 8 on my mac; its the puppies episode. OMG. I LOVE PUPPIES<3>

i want a new cell phone soooo badly. :( 

today went pretty fast. but it was kinda  slacker day. i miss everybody:( COME BACK ALREADY:/)i have chamber tomorrow. with ms wilks (i think)  o joy! i want the weekend to come soo bad!

OMG ITS MARCH!
so...personally i think this week's gonna be pretty boring- seeing that all my favourite people are gone:(
-paolo, mike and crew
-my daddy's in florida:(
-mr araujos gone too and we have ms wilks for the whole week. (that in itself is not that huge of a bummer:/- i like both of them:)
.....it's just weird when that many people are gone for the WHOLE WEEK.
i can't wait till this week's gonna be over

today was the SPM retreat. araujo planned it and of course it was lots of fun (retreats at st pats in general are a lot of fun.) and we did a personality test. holy crap its sooo weird. all my personality traits were directly revealed through my category, "the thinker (loyalist)" and my wing category, which had to do with feelings and stuff. i love it, it totally gave me a clear understanding of myself. and i would totally do it again. i found it cool that the people that were like me were: princess diana, and marilyn monroe. who would have thought:)

I GOT MY L!

that was probably one of the most nerve wracking things i've done. i had to calm myself first. i started the test. and omg my heart dropped because i couldn't figure out what the first question was, so i skipped it.  lols kinda embarrassing. and then i kept going. i made a few careless mistakes cause i didn't read the question properly. but then i think i was on a role. haha midway through the test i was wondering whether i should check my status- i didn't want to freak myself out. well, i did anyways. and then i tried not to think about it and kept going. and then all of a sudden, "congratulations you passed!" and i swear i didn't believe it. :)

.....that takes most of the stress away. yay!  (now i don't have to keep carrying my stupid drivers book wherever i go)

on another note. dr kento (bento) was pretty cool. he kinda dresses like araujo, minus the fedora hat. he was really quiet, but i guess his english was pretty good. 

tomorrow is the SPM Retreat!

tomorrow we have chamber starring dr. kento (bento) lmao. 

OMG. i want a new cell sooooo badly:/

so i just got back from the concordia choir performance and it was pretty darn good. even though araujo said we were better then them even before the concert started, after listening to them, i was like, "wow!" haha....when they walked in the church they walked in really fast and they looked like they were mad. i swear it was like wind was passing by causing they just kept coming; it looked like a scene from hogwarts. lols. and holy crap they can blend! man...they're soooo goood. so anyways, im just happy with the fact that i saw rene clausen- that in itself is pretty cool i guess. 

OMG. during foods class today, i had another mandarin orange. so....i started peeling it. and....IT WAS MOLDY (just like the one from yesterday)- ask anna f.. she saw it. -i told my mom and she didn't really seem to care (or at least, i don't think she believed me!) 

i feel like throwing away all my baby mandarin oranges:/

today in homeroom i was starving. so i ate a baby mandarin orange. half way through i noticed white fluffy stuff in the middle ; it was mold. 

enough said.

Resonance '09 made me feel so good. even though i was trying not to choke half of the time cause of my throat, i looooooveeedd singing in it. every song, especially butterfly, battle of jericho; they made me feeel ssssooooo goooddd. and i guess you could kinda tell that everyone was proud of themselves. i mean it was pretty nerve wracking, lining up to go onto the stage. but after we were done, it was the best feeling every. seeing that last week's performance went just as well, its almost like i have a 'newfound confidence' in chamber. im actually pretty happy with it- and i love it! 

tomorrow's RESONANCE!! anyway(S) hah notice how i bracketed the 's'- cause i just came to realize (today @ lunch at the portable w/ araujo) that 'anyways' isn't a real term. lollerz. 

yesterday was pretty harsh but fun at the same time. we had chamber then A block concert choir, then Theory (i went to this instead of the SA) practice and THEN practice with CCCCC. holy crap. I WAS AT SCHOOL FOR 13 HOURS:/

as for practice with ccccc........

 i personally, think we sound pretty darn good; BATTLE OF JERICHO is pretty EPIC!- its a battle alright!!! ...and it doesnt make me that nervous anymore cause i know im not the only one doing the high screaming part (yay for danielle and tiff and marielle and charlene.) and....i dont think araujo noticed, BUT danielle and i are standing together in the front row, and we sing the exact same parts (aaha, even though we're supposed to be mixed up!) lols.......omg i gotta find a new hairstyle for tomorrow (well, i think i already got one) but you know what that means. MORE YOUTUBE VIDS.

yay im so glad thats over. now that chamber's done their first concert, its kinda more of a confidence booster and i know that we feel pretty good. you could even see it on araujo's face and even ms wilks' when they're teaching us; i love that feeling. im so proud , i hit my note! today was a good day.

heck, today my hair even looked decent thanks to the youtube tutorial vids.- i had a lot of fun. annnddd... we even talked to the senator lady- she's soo nice......even thought i cracked a few times, im hoping the peeps in the front row didn't notice. well, one time it was pretty obivious, but the rest weren't so bad. haha.

omg resonance is next saturday. 

haaaaa........im sitting here watching 'how to do hair updo tutorials on youtube. annnnddd im still not sure what im going to do for tomorrow.

omg. yesterday wasn't so bad. turns out, all this time i thought my highest note was a C#. but apparently (according to ms wilks) i've been psyching myself out and i can hit a D#! -which is a whole two steps higher than what i thought i could hit before. sooo tomorrow, im going to try not to psych myself out and im gonna pretend that im screaming  (and that someone evils trying to chase me or something- otherwise im never going to get rid of my nerves or anything) and im hoping, well praying that the note comes out and that araujo doesn't give me the evil or whatever. 

so. chris told me to write about religion class. and yeah.....we just finished watching a video. SEE! we actually learn stuff in this class! and it was a video about gatorade and the crusades and it had usain bolt and kerry walsh/misty may treanor in it. hah. it was kinda cool actually.
this day feels like its gonna go on forever. but im really excited for the weekend. part of the reason is that i get to relax a bit and then on sunday chamber has it's first 'official' performance. - and jess gets to do my makeup!

..............my facebook is being so retarded right now. i have to keep signing in for no reason just to view my stuff and other pages. OMG.

in other news. im kinda getting my voice back. but i still have a cough- which is still pretty weird cause my throat doesn't hurt at all. and YAY! i hit a C in battle of jericho!- it sounded ugly in my head but ms wilks said it was good!....now if i just stop talking (aka shutup), and start whispering and don't sing in the shower or whatever, maybe ill have my full voice back by sunday; that pretty much would make my year!

IM PRAYING. LITERALLY. for my voice to come back. it gives me and excuse for why not to sing during voice tomorrow but i want it back soooo badly. haha oongledouche, anna that's so funny!

today's car ride home with anna, jess, tristan and myself was freakin HIGHlarious.

reminiscing about elementary school and j.......___ ____ barf____.(notice how i did not give the person's identity away)soooo funny. even after jess dropped me off, i was home alone laughing to myself...

hmm......open house wasn't tooo bad. the sucky part was that i couldn't even sing my notes and araujo even asked me why. and i was like wtf. the one time im sick....you start noticing all the things i can't do when all along i've been doing and singing everything just like you've said.arrrgghh. I WANT MY VOICE BACK. 

and....i swear there's no other way to fix this problem but to have a freakin chamber soprano sectional everyday; everything still sounds fishy and it bugs the crap out of me. BUT THAT'S JUST ME. im kinda  a perfectionist; i dont know if thats a bad thing.

im kinda screwed for tmr. i have a math test and maybe a bio pop quiz. arrrggh.

but at least tomorrow's block order is BDAC. at least i get to get all the hard stuff done first. and i get to relax the rest of the day until voice after school.

I REALLY REALLY REALLY WOULD LIKE TO HAVE MY VOICE BACK...

PRETTY PLEASE, THAT'S ALL I ASK. ESPECIALLY SINCE WE HAVE THREE WEEKS WORTH OF CONCERTS COMING UP:(

so im sitting here listening to "ungeduld" (pronounced: 'oong-a-doolt')- all you scholarship people know what im talking about. omg. its like a zillion times faster on youtube; its soooo much slower when we practice it in voice. AND since its in german holy crap, its sounds like someones having a freakin SHOUTING MATCH or something:/ and in addition to learning this song, i also have to learn this other song with doesn't have any lyrics to it at all:S Strange i know. you have to sing it on vowels AH, OH and/or U which makes it even weirder. annnndd you basically have no where to breathe at all. SERIOUSLY, how the frick am i going to learn this all. AND IN ADDITION TO THAT. tomorrow's open house; which also means chamber for three hours. but its okay, chambers been fun lately- except we have to let loose and start dancing now. its kinda weird when you're jumping up and down and trying to sing a high note at the same time. lols. haha enough said.

i know its random but im excited for foods class on monday. yayy. beschemel sauce (or however you spell it) with mac and cheese:)

TGIF

mmm...danny's screamers and garlic breadsticks with anna were soooo yummy.

i've been waiting for the weekend. ..this weeks been so busy and i've been running on a never ending schedule. wake up early, go to chamber, school, after school (scholarship stuff), come home, homework, bed. my voice is still scratchy and i really don't want to get sick again. 

on another note, today we got our report cards back and SECOND HONOURS:) well, i wish it was first but whatevs. i dunno. some people told me that they only calculate your eight highest marks and other people told me they calculate all your marks. so i was like WTF?? but whatevs. the only reason that im stressing is because, that basically is the deciding factor from me being on the first honour board to the second honour board. 

OK I'LL SHUTUP NOW. 

HAH. choir was pretty funny. charlene giving massages and snorting. i love my soprano 1's- they're pretty funny; araujo must have thought that we were on crack or something. we couldn't stop squirming and charlene kept touching people. lols. she's HIGHlarious.

chamber's actually been pretty good to me this week. but damn. choir's getting tougher- i guess, in a way. it's kinda harder to get an A. grade 10 was sooo much easier and everything. im kinda excited for the private concert next next week; yay! i get to wear my choir dress again-AND IT STILL FITS. 

now that the stress of getting a report card is over...

..................................................................i think i need to stop stressing and relax a bit. but how??

so..i guess today was pretty chill and eventful at the same time. except for the fact that the morning took forever to pass.

at lunch time we talked about grad dresses; aaha it was pretty interesting.

 religion, of course, was my favourite. anna, jess, paolo, mike and I went to the portable and we did whatever. we listened to music full blast with all doors open in the portable and watched youtube videos with mr araujo. i love spending time with you guys; youre hilarious.......

ps. agnus dei sounds a tad freaky at the beginning, BUT i love it.

pps. my voice is starting to get scratchy again- i think im just really tired:/

I AM FREEEEE. 

choir wasn't that bad. thank god i read over everything that was on that sheet that we got otherwise i wouldnt have known what to write for my paragraphs.; im so proud of my paragraphs ..and i spent a long time on them..but whatever they turned out good. and then partway through the exam araujo comes over and starts looking through my booklet that im supposed to write in and i was like wtfrick?- he wanted to see if i finished it yet. well obviously i didnt cause i was still on my paragraphs because they were half a page long and i was trying to write really nicely but i couldn't cause my hand was sweaty and it kept cramping. omg i spent like ten minutes looking for the freakin tied eighth note cause i thought it would be tied to another eighth note. BUT GUESS WHAT? it was tied to a half note . omg. and then....i spent what felt like a billion and a half years trying to figure out what to write in my multi paragraph....mind you during this time we had like twenty minutes left and i was getting distracted by all the people leaving.. AND THEN WITH A MINUTE TO GO i had to write two long sentences to conclude my essay. GLAD THATS OVER. hah. i like it when you look over your papers and it starts out looking really nice and neat but by the end of it, everything looks like chicken scratch.

ANYWAYS. my point is that IM FREE and i dont have to study for anything else...and i get to enjoy life a little more ......februarys pretty much my chill month and then after that everything gets crazy.:/

i am currently bored out of my wits because i really don't want to go to sleep. i have one more exam to go!!-choir. this is my first year where i've actually had to write an exam for all eight subjects- regardless of this fact all i can think about is the liberating feeling i will have tomorrow at 3 o'clock when i will be officially finished. 

why do i still sound sick? i was sick alllll through the break and now i still sound sick and i still kinda have that cough. haha. its like every time i get sick my voice changes and switches octaves and keeps getting lower..ahah...looks like im not a soprano 1 anymore. j/k. well actually i dunno....my voice feels like uhhh....

i dont even know how i did this two weeks ago!?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJE5u9wd3vw&feature=channel_page

i've been watching it over and over again...and i really don't know what the heck to do with the mic. i was standing there not knowing whether or not to put my hands on the mic or for me to put my hands by my side. so then, i unintentionally i ended up standing how i stand for choir, and it looks retarded. omg..........:/

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

all i have to say. now i just have to get a move on and study for my L.